FRIDAY
By Lincoln Kole
I admit that I was hesitant to talk about resiliency at first, at least in a spiritual sense. Physical resilience? Emotional resilience? I’m pretty confident in my abilities, there. But when it comes to spiritual resilience, I was having a hard time coming up with a moment where I had exhibited it. It made me feel weak and vulnerable. But it was my wife, Kellee, who first brought to my attention an ongoing situation that has absolutely required spiritual resilience.
I have to preface all of this by saying I deserve 0% of the credit. Without Christ in my life and the guidance of the Lord, I certainly would have crumbled in some form or fashion.
So, anyone that knows me has figured out really quickly where I’m from. The Lone Star state is proudly represented and displayed by yours truly. I’m usually wearing a it on a t-shirt, a hat or the many bumper stickers on my truck. I was born and raised in the Texas hill country and was extremely rooted in its history and culture. My family came with the Spanish and Portuguese in the 1500s and was part of the first settlements in Texas. Needless to say, I’m extremely proud of where I’m from and I want everyone to know about it. We Texans have never been accused of being over-the-top on anything right…?
Now, about seven years ago I married my wife and we moved to the midwest to be closer to her family. Leaving behind everything I knew and the comfort of my home was difficult. I felt like I was moving to a new country. Through the winters, the culture change, missing all the things I was familiar with and my own family, I really had a hard time trusting the Lord’s plan. The selfish side of me, my flesh I suppose, always wanted to go back and still does today.
However, I can look back at our time here and see so much fruit. Whether it’s friendships, my own spiritual growth, our strengthened marriage, or some incredible work experiences, the Lord has provided so much in my time, here, even though most of the time I was not showing the trust in Him that He deserved. I had to keep telling myself this is part of His plan. There is so much more going on than what I can see right in front of me.
The story of Jonah going to Nineveh is one that I have always identified with—which may not be a good thing. Despite Jonah being unwilling or resistant, God still used him to save an entire city. I hope I never have to be delivered from anywhere by a fish, but I do see so much of myself in that story.
Now, even as I am writing all of this I find myself thinking, “Gosh, this doesn’t sound like resilience at all. This sounds like someone who is being resistant and difficult and yet their Father, who knows better, is holding them in the right place.” You may be thinking the same thing and a lot of times you would be totally right. But at any moment I could have told my wife, “We’re moving back.” Or I could have left without her and gone back to my old life or just slipped into a life of bitterness and contempt. But only through Jesus and HIS resilience have I been able to find any kind of strength and maintain my own resilience and faith. He gets all the credit and all the glory.
This story doesn’t have a resolution YET. It’s something I struggle with frequently, but have grown in dramatically over the past seven years. To be honest, I am in a place where I’m having a very hard time letting go of that identity and the idea of the life I had imagined. Talking about it now and acknowledging that God is using this as a time to draw my closer to Him, sometimes forcibly, and building that resilience is a great way to bring it into the light and not let it drag me down. Every day is a choice, an opportunity to choose Jesus over myself, to choose my wife over myself, and a choice to accept where God is taking me. I want to choose every day to allow Him to guide me instead of my flesh and to come out the other side of this and glorify Him in the resiliency he has taught me.