Slow to Speak

Slow to Speak

TUESDAY

Christianese If You Please

Allow me to be silly for a moment and poke fun at some of the things we say in the Evangelical Church world.

“He’s lukewarm”

This Christianese is also biblical but usually taken out of context. It was always used to refer to a person who believed in Jesus but wasn’t really on fire for him (I.e., passionately sold out) or (i.e., fully surrendered) to him. We have layers of Christianeze here.

In context, this comes from Revelation 3 when Jesus is rebuking the church of Laodicea for not being cold or hot (i.e., useful). They were wealthy and therefore didn’t recognize their desperate need for God, nor his grace and mercy in providing them their wealth. They didn’t realize how pitiful they actually were and Jesus encourages them to “buy from him gold refined in the fire” (i.e., Godly character and inner life formation that is gained through suffering and serving the Kingdom) so they could be spiritually rich.

Read Revelation 3:14-22. This is another needed message for American Christians, which we would do well to heed.

Chapter 1 of James is essentially his long introduction in which he briefly addresses the themes he will talk about in the rest of his letter. In 1:19-27 he addresses the things we say, which he will discuss in more detail in chapter 3.

James 1:19–21 19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

Again, the book of James reads a little like the Proverbs. He makes lots of short, memorable wisdom statements. This one may be the most powerful in the letter.

Quick to hear is a strange expression. The verb implies rapid pursuit. So, “Hurry up and listen!” is the idea. This, it seems to me, is a broad proverbial statement that applies to our relationships with one another as well as to God. This is certainly not natural for most of us. Most of us want to hurry up and say what we want to say so we are heard by everyone else and get the opportunity to express ourselves. Not being an outgoing person doesn’t necessarily exempt you from this either. Someone may be quiet, but still not “quick to hear.” Although not speaking, they may be still be thinking about themselves and afraid of being embarrassed or speaking out of turn, etc. The problem in both scenarios is simply thinking of oneself too much instead of genuinely taking an interest in what the other person has to say.

I love Lewis’s description of a humble person Mere Christianity

“Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call ‘humble’ nowadays: he will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody. Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.”

Humble people whose hearts are being transformed by the Spirit of God will be eager to grow in this deeply spiritual skill of listening.

James then tells us to be “slow to speak.” He doesn’t tell us to never speak. Speaking is a necessary part of obeying the Great Commission, encouraging and exhorting one another, praising God, etc. However, the imperative is to seek to listen first. If we listen first we can then speak with more wisdom, knowledge and therefore, speak more truthfully and helpfully.

When we are eager to speak, we often assume that we know what the other person will say without hearing them first. We assume that we know the solution before hearing the full scope of the problem. We often, simply put, think too highly of ourselves.

In our conversations with one another, especially those whom we are closest with, failure to follow this principle often throws gasoline on the fire of conflict. It’s easy to get offended and lash back at something you thought you heard from the other person but they didn’t really say. So often we don’t care what the other person has to say when they have offended us, even though what they have to say could explain their good will and honest mistake in the offense. Perhaps they were going to apologize but we never gave them the chance to speak.

Think of the last conflict or argument or contentious conversation you had. How would being quick to listen have changed the nature of the conversation? My most recent one was with my kids who were fighting for the third time in a 30 minute window. I didn’t take the time to listen to what actually happen and hear their stories as I usually try to make a practice of doing. I honestly didn’t care what happened because I believed it was most likely petty and I think I told them that. I quickly got angry with them, separated them and told them to go on to the next thing they had to do. In not following James’s imperative, here, I missed a discipleship moment with my kids and failed to maintain inner peace in myself and pursue genuine peace in our family relationships.

In summary, of course there is truth to discern in life and we often must speak on those truths. However, we would be wise to hurry up and listen first and patiently slow to speak.

Reflection

Today, strive to be “quick to listen and slow to speak” in your interactions with others and with God.

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